Lately my life has been so crazy, I haven’t had time to sit down and write any blog posts. I do miss it, because it is a great outlet for me. But I have had to learn to say…
The word no. Two letters, short and simple. I find myself saying it quite frequently to my toddler. At times I feel that it is half of my vocabulary with him. But the word no in the rest of my life. Well, it is much harder to come by.
Why is it that saying those two little letters can be so difficult? I personally have a really hard time uttering them. I happen to be a pleaser and a perfectionist. I like things done quickly. And mostly, I really hate conflict. Yeah, I know I have some issues. And they are part if why I have so much trouble saying no!
Being a pleaser, I tend to not say no and agree to things to please others. Sure, it will be no problem to just add something extra to my stress level, no problem!
We all like things done as quickly as possible. But I am kind of extreme. I absolutely hate wasting time. I don’t have enough time as it is, so wasting precious time drives me nuts. So I say no to help, do it myself, and get it done quicker.
The biggee. I really, really, really dislike conflict. Really. I will go to great lengths to avoid conflict, and often that involves not saying no in order. By agreeing to do things others ask, I avoid unnecessary conflict. However, by not saying no, I add stress to my life.
I have found throughout life that it seems easy to say no to those we love the most, and less easy to say to others. Why is this? We can say no to our children, no we don’t have enough time to do that, no we don’t have enough money to do that. But if our employer asks us to stay late and finish up a project, we can’t seem to say no.
When others need our help we offer it, and don’t say no. But somehow, there are many times when our kids need help, and we say no, we don’t have enough time.
Recently I have forced myself to start saying no to some things. Our life has been chaotic with selling a house, looking for a house, packing, moving, vacation, soccer… I have been so extremely busy that I had to force myself to start saying no to a few things. One of those things was this blog, another to work. By reducing the amount of time I was spending on these things, I have reduced some of the additional stress in my life. And it has helped, I am less crazy. However, of course things are still busy.
I know, that in order to keep my sanity, I have to start saying no more to things that aren’t as important, and yes to things that are, like my family. It won’t be easy for me, but it’s something I know that I need to work on!