So things have been slightly crazy lately, and I haven’t had much time to sit and write. So goes real life. And at the moment, we are adding to the chaos by preparing to put our house on the market. That is always a fun task when you have three kids, two dogs, and an already busy life. With sacrifice comes reward, right? I’m looking at the end game and a larger, newer house on some land.
Yesterday was the day I had planned to start doing some deep cleaning in preparation for listing photos and putting it on the market this weekend. But, as usual, real life threw me a huge curve ball. My little man ended up being very sick. I can’t complain, we have been very fortunate the last 14 months that this is the first time he has really been sick. The only symptoms seemed to be a high fever and lethargy, with a little bit of a runny nose. I am still trying to figure out if he was fighting off a virus, or it was teething. I have to think that a prolonged temp of 102-103 is more than just teething, but who knows. What I do know is that this little man never sits still, never stops generally. But he was down for the count yesterday.
The day started out fairly normal, he took his morning nap and I was able to get my workout in. But after that it all went downhill. He got really crabby, fussy, and wanted to be held constantly (more than normal). Then he started feeling warm. And the thermometer confirmed it, temp of 102. I tried alternating Tylenol and Ibuprofen, putting the appropriate essential oils on his spine, fluids. Nothing seemed to be helping. And although I had so many things to do, including some work for my paying job, I knew the little man needed my attention. If you know me very well you know that I don’t sit still very well. I am constantly moving, constantly getting things done. So resolving to sitting on the couch all afternoon holding my sick little boy didn’t happen easily. Don’t get me wrong, I love my children very much and have much sympathy for them, I just have a really hard time sitting still when there are things to do.
But in the midst of the list of things in my mind that I needed to be getting done, it was nice for a change to just be able to sit and hold my little man. I was able to put aside the list of things, and comfort him, hold him, and let him sleep while I soaked up the rare moments that he is still. This is a boy that is constantly on the move, and rarely sits still for long. That was the first sign that he wasn’t feeling good, he is not a snuggler, and hardly let’s you hold him. Although I was enjoying the time being close to him, it was difficult to see him so pathetic. He wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t drink, and had absolutely no energy to move at all, he just laid on me drifting in and out of sleep. As his temperature continued to remain, and even increase up to nearly 103, the momma’s love really started coming out, and I felt terrible for him, wishing that I could trade places with the sick little guy and take away his misery as he became more and more lethargic.
It brought me back to a time about 10 years ago that Garrett, my oldest, who is now 12, was extremely sick with pneumonia and ended up in the hospital. It was horrible watching him get sicker by the minute, the doctors telling me that it was just a virus and there was nothing they could do. But a mother’s intuition doesn’t fail her, and I kept pushing the doctor and taking him back in every day as he worsened. Finally, the nurse practitioner that I saw on the third visit in three days, determined that we needed to go to the hospital and have x-rays done of his chest. She suspected pneumonia as she heard a slight rattle in his chest. Off to the hospital where we sat and sat and sat, waiting to be taken for x-rays, with a completely limp 2 1/2 year old in my arms. It was apparent to everyone in the waiting room that he was very sick, and they couldn’t believe that they kept us waiting and waiting. Finally when they called someone back, they were kind enough to tell them they would wait, and to please take the very sick child. And sure enough, when the doctor read the x-rays she couldn’t believe the amount of fluid in his lungs and how progressed it was. Yep, I was right, as I kept telling the doctor that there was something wrong as he continued running a temperature of around 104 for several days in a row. And every minute of that time I would have traded places with my child to take away his pain and misery. After a few days stay in the hospital with antibiotics and fluids, he was back to normal, but those feelings of helplessness have remained with me, that feeling that there is nothing you can do to make your child better, to take away their pain. It is the worst feeling in the world! I have been fortunate that is the worst illness that I have had to deal with to date with my children. They have been very healthy, rarely really sick, no broken bones, and no significant health issues. Given how I felt during that time, I just can’t imagine what parents go through when their child has a life threatening illness, cancer, has been in a severe accident. I learned a very valuable lesson though, always trust your instincts, if something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. And be an advocate for your children, even if it means going against what your doctor thinks. Sometimes they aren’t always right, and a mother knows their child and their behaviors best.
A mother’s love is never ending, and we would go to the ends of the earth to help our children, and take away any pain they have. We created, carried, and care for these beings. They are a part of us. When they feel pain, we feel pain. My heart goes out to all of the parents that are not as fortunate as I, and are dealing with serious health issues with their children. I am thankful that I have been blessed and haven’t had to deal with serious issues.